Watching
by happychica
Summary: Lily's watching someone...


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Dedication: This is dedicated to my sister. She's not dead, but I kinda forgot her birthday, I hope she forgives me…

_Upon awakening one morning, sunlight filtering through the leaves onto her face, Lily Potter stretched out on the banks of a river. The river was broad, but mostly shallow and she could see her son on the other side, fast asleep, peace gracing his usually tense face. Pushing herself from the ground, Lily made her way across the river to her son's side, but when she reached him, her hand passed right through. Her body lacked the solidity that had been a gift during her life. Transparent tears chased each other down her checks as she silently watch her son sleep, waiting till he could awake, deciding, as an apology for not being there during his life, she could at least watch over him till it ended_…

Hours later, when the sun was finally reaching its peek, Harry awoke, stretching and yawning till all sleep had left his body. Looking around, he smiled. Fate, or perhaps one last gift from Dumbledore, had left him far from the life he was used to. No one this deep in any woods could know of what he had done, of the life he had lived. Yet, odd as it seemed, it felt as though he had been here before, a long time ago, before memories that bore any meaning could be recalled. It almost felt like that memory belonged to someone else, that it had been added to his while he slept.

How long had he slept? An hour? A day? A year? He didn't know, or care, really. He just wanted to leave his old life behind, and let it end as a fond memory. After all, going back meant being famous again, having to worry about old supporters not yet caught, people who would despise him for taking the life of another human, even if he had had no real choice. He didn't want that, couldn't face that, couldn't _stand_ to see the pain he caused the ones he loved. And he did hurt them. Ron and Hermione had always worried the most, being the closest thing he had to a family. They had been the hardest to leave. It was like loosing his parents all over again, but it was for the best, just like everything else. Even Dumbledore's death had had a positive aspect. He had been at peace, and Harry had learned that, sooner or later, you have to stop depending on others, because they'll leave, or be taken. Like Ginny, she had been taken. Voldemort had thought it funny to kill her, laughing while Harry begged him to stop. Yet another reason to leave; he didn't think he could bring himself to beg again. He had felt shame like nothing he had ever experienced, and all for naught. It wrong, like he had angered his parents; that he would willingly lower himself to that, then have the nerve to fail.

Maybe that was why he had run, instead of plunging back into life. It was so much easier to run from the problems than to face them, and see the disappointment in everyone's eyes. That and some problems couldn't be solved. It is truly easier to morn the dead alone, for some people, than to have to watch others suffer as well, especially if you believe that you could have prevented it. He could have saved Ginny's life, and Malfoy's, if he had really wanted to, but instead he had chickened out, too afraid. Malfoy had really been a good kid, just too frightened to take a stand, until the end. He had stalled, letting Harry get away, but had lost everything. Harry could have fought, could have gotten them both out, and then let Malfoy have his life back. He had that kind of power, something he had discovered shortly after Dumbledore's death. People trusted him. If he said someone was a good person, then there were never any question asked, that person was forgiven, and life went on. But he had run, and Malfoy was gone. Then he'd been caught again, this time costing Ginny her life. Voldemort had been having too much fun to notice Harry leave. He only left because that was what Ginny had been screaming through her pain, to leave, run away, be safe. Now he was.

Harry stood up. He had been remembering for a long time, too long. The sun had begun to set. Turning from the light once more, Harry headed towards his new life, hoping no one else would have to pay the price for his mistakes. He didn't notice her following him, but the animals did…

_Lily watched her son wander off, still too deep in thought to notice anything outside of his own thoughts. But the animals had noticed him, and followed him, leading him to a village that Lily remembered quite clearly. She had been there once, when she was very young, perhaps 10. She hadn't known how she got there, nor cared. She had found out later that she had accidentally apparated. She had been told, rather harshly, not to do it again, but she had anyways. It was the reason it had taken her forever to get her license, the ministry had not trusted her to behave. Smiling at the memory, Lily continued to follow her son through the village, until he met the elder, whom Lily remembered well. He had taken good care of her when she had come here as a child. She was surprised he was still alive at all, let alone still the town's wizard. Wizards here usually had to be in their prime, if she remembered correctly. But she didn't mind. The old man was kind, and would take good care of her son._

_A few days later, when Lily was sure that Harry was safe, she said her final good bye, and left to join her husband, thinking vaguely that none of the boys she knew had ever been able to take care of themselves till she left them alone_...

Harry soon forgot that he had ever noticed an extra presence in the village, but sometimes, late at night, he could still feel her eyes, watching him, protecting him. He really did miss his mother, more then he'd ever know…

A/N: It may be crap, but I like my ending better than hers.


End file.
